Saturday, June 07, 2008

21 less-than-obvious ways to save the planet

There are many ways to save the planet. One recent planet-saving fad has been replacing traditional incandescent light bulbs with more energy-efficient compact fluorescent bulbs. But there are many far-less obvious and just as important planet-saving methods. Here are a few:
  1. Go to bed as soon as it gets dark out. It should save you a bundle on electricity.
  2. Use the stairs instead of the elevator. It's good exercise! 30 floors isn't that much! It takes a lot of energy to move that box up and down. Of course, you can always elevator-pool to save energy.
  3. Drink tap water instead of bottled. It takes a lot of CO2 to get that stuff from Fiji!
  4. Walk or bike to work! It's not THAT far.
  5. Replace your electric guitar with an acoustic one. The less you have to plug in the better.
  6. Read a book instead of watching TV. It must not be a new book, however. Those require trees to be cut down.
  7. Hum instead of listening to the radio. If you really need to hear music, walk to the grocery store. They usually have music playing there.
  8. Get your pizza delivered instead of picking it up. The delivery guy is going out anyway. You might as well save the fuel in your own vehicle.
  9. Move to a warm climate. You'll save money by having no heating bills in the winter. (Air conditioning is for wusses).
  10. Shorten your commute by moving closer to where you work. Bonus if you can work from home, or live in the same building as where you work.
  11. Skip a meal a few times a week. Calories are energy too!
  12. Send an email instead of writing a letter. (Use someone else's computer so you don't have to turn yours on.)
  13. Watch church on TV instead of driving to one. You don't talk to anyone anyways, so why not? Bonus if you can watch it on someone else's TV. Radio is acceptable too.
  14. Sleep as often as you can. You won't be needing the lights or appliances, and you can save on food by sleeping through mealtimes!
  15. Grow a garden! Build a rainwater collector to irrigate it, so you don't have to use tap water. Freeze what you can't eat so there is no waste.
  16. Eat whatever you can raw. That way you save the electricity you'd normally use cooking your food. If you need to cook something, find some dead leaves and twigs in your yard and burn them to cook your food.
  17. Replace your electric alarm clock with a mechanical alarm clock, if you can still find one.
  18. Live in a city. Cities consume less energy per person than small towns. Plus, they often have public transportation, which is a great way to meet people.
  19. Don't be poor. Poor people often can't afford to adopt planet-saving habits. Remember, saving money is not the same as saving the planet! Saving the planet requires all of us to make financial sacrifices. You can't make financial sacrifices if you are poor.
  20. Don't own any unnecessary animals, like chameleons, monkeys or cats. Dogs are okay only if they help you catch food so you don't have to drive to the store.
  21. Die. Dying saves the planet by eliminating the CO2 emitted providing you with sustenance as well as preventing any further CO2 emission via respiration. Additionally, you restore vital nutrients to the soil. Bonus for dying before you get the chance to reproduce.


Bethany said...

You are pretty quirky... But at least you could live in the same building that you work in!!

Martha said...

Thanks for the ideas, but I think I'd rather talk to the people at church than on the bus.

And I guess I waited much too long to die, eh?

You did write the list, right?

Martha said...

22. Learn to ride a unicycle. Not only does it give you exercise and save gasoline, but it contains half the natural resources of a regular bicycle.

James Austin said...

I did make this up myself. I could probably think of more, but I have to stop somewhere.

Martha said...

You are an amazing guy!

Bethany said...

Or just a weird guy ;) How about only flushing the toilet once a day?

Rachel said...

Very insightful, Jim!

Joe Fool said...

I thought for sure I already commented on this one. How about all those trips the environmentalists take on big ships and planes to save the wilderness?